Posts Tagged With: Cabela’s

Jumping Jack

There I was, minding my own business, taking an innocent walk down the lane that leads to my parents’ farmhouse. Suddenly this gigantic critter erupted from the grass practically under my feet. While I stood there gasping, waiting for my heart rate to subside, it dashed off to what it apparently considered a safe distance. There it stopped and stood up on its hind legs to reconnoiter, its eyes wide, nose twitching, and ears swiveling.

Believe me, that was one impressive bunny—the biggest jack rabbit I’ve ever seen. Its winter coat was so lush and thick, it would have made Cruella De Vil forget all about Dalmatians. And standing erect, its amazing ears at attention, it looked as big as a kangaroo. (Okay, okay, so I’ve never actually seen a kangaroo. That’s still what it looked like.)

Come to think of it, I haven’t seen many jack rabbits in recent years, either. Maybe they’re all that big, and I just didn’t remember because it’s been so long. The rabbit population seems to follow cycles of abundance, over-abundance, disease and die-off, scarcity, and resurgence. Since I haven’t lived on the prairie for a long time, I’ve probably missed a few cycles.

This week, however, I discovered what may be another reason why jack rabbits seem a little scarce. They’re being abducted and genetically modified into a different species. If you don’t believe me, check out this January 19 article in the Rapid City Journal. It features “the world’s foremost jackalope maker,” who provides thousands of these exotic critters to Cabela’s.

The rabbit I saw in my parents’ lane would no doubt make an impressive jackalope. I hope, instead, it enjoys a long and prosperous life as a jack rabbit. And I promise to watch out for it the next time I visit.

I wouldn’t want it to suffer the same fate as the last South Dakota jackrabbit I got close to. That time, we ran over it. On Good Friday.

I swear, it was an accident. We were driving after dark on a gravel road when the rabbit, no doubt stressed out and distracted by its seasonal duties, dashed out in front of the car. It’s a terrible feeling to realize you have just squashed the Easter Bunny.

Maybe it would have been better off as a jackalope.

Categories: Wild Things | Tags: , , , | 3 Comments

Style, Stubble, and Scruffy Chic

I thought that look went out with the last reruns of “Miami Vice.” Or maybe it did, and it’s just come back around again.

In either case, it was a bad idea then, and it’s a bad idea now. I’m talking about the fashion in ads for men’s clothing to show models all dressed up in their nice suits, with three days’ worth of stubble on their faces. They look as if they interrupted a back-country fishing trip for the photo shoot, hurrying back to town in such a rush that they didn’t take time to shave.

Does anyone in the real world actually think this “stubbly chic” is attractive? Are there women out there who daydream about snuggling up to guys with faces that feel like a cross between a juvenile porcupine and a piece of 60-grit sandpaper?

Most of these scruffy-faced models are chisel-jawed guys in their 20’s. A few, maybe in their 30’s, seem to be trying to look a little older, going for the “CEO’s are real men, too” look. And even some of the guys modeling clothes for teens show up proudly in their chin whiskers. Never mind that they don’t look old enough to shave.

Thankfully, there’s one demographic that doesn’t seem to have succumbed to this look: models over 50. (Yes, there are a few, and no, not all of them are advertising Viagra.) Maybe even fashion photographers have to admit that it doesn’t work to show a guy of a certain age with gray stubble sprouting across his not-so-chiseled jaw. No matter how expensively he may be dressed, he’s going to look like he just spent the night sleeping behind a dumpster.

Taking this look of fashionable scruffiness to its logical conclusion, what might be next? Just think of the possibilities. Slender young female swimsuit models with hairy legs and underarms like King Kong. Dimpled toddlers in cute little outfits, with pureed peas smeared on their rosy little cheeks. Grade-schoolers with Kool-Aid mustaches. Cosmetics models whose close-up shots reveal not only flawless skin, but also bits of broccoli stuck between their teeth.

I’m all for truth in advertising, but this might be taking “reality” a bit too far. Especially when most real guys seem to hold to the quaint custom of shaving every morning before they head off to work.

There is hope, I suppose, that the stubble-and-a-suit look will eventually run its course. I did see one photo in this week’s newspaper inserts of a manly young guy with a clean-shaven chin. It was an ad for jackets, in the Cabela’s flyer. He was fishing.

Categories: Fashion | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment

Camo–Can You See It Now?

Hunters everywhere, rejoice. You have now become cool. Well, at least your clothes have.

According to fashion experts cited in an Associated Press article that came out about the time fall hunting season started, camouflage is in. It’s the new plaid. The new paisley, even. Apparently it has sneaked away from outfitters like Cabela’s and L. L. Bean and slipped inconspicuously into the world of haut couture.

The article used phrases like “sexy take on the classic hunter look,” and “edgy but completely neutral.” The experts were excited about wearing camo in “a slick urban way,” whatever that may mean. They suggested various color options, from blush for evening wear to cartoon colors for kids.

They did, however, caution that orange is a bit cliched. That blaze orange hunting cap you’ve had for ages? Sorry. Time to ditch it in favor of something neutral, perhaps accented with a “pop of navy or yellow.”

And those style gurus must be right, because even I have noticed the camo as I’ve been Christmas shopping. Browsing through gauzy women’s scarves, for example. Half of them were camo prints in muted, ladylike browns and greens. I haven’t seen this myself, but apparently this fall’s fashion lines included camo cocktail dresses. The perfect option, I suppose, if you want to disappear into the crowd at your spouse’s office Christmas party.

Apparently another designer has come up with camouflage fake-fur coats. The true woodland wilderness experience, twice removed. At least the jackets aren’t real fur, which would be truly tactless. The original wearers of that fur might take it as adding insult to injury.

It seems to me there are some risks in this style trend. Take just one: toddlers in camo. They already can vanish in a millisecond the instant you turn your back. Who needs to make that easier by putting them in camouflage?

There is, however, one form of camo clothing that they should have been making a long time ago. Underwear. It’s the perfect answer for hikers, especially female hikers. That way, when you need to retire behind a bush for a private moment, you can go in perfect confidence that no one will see you.

At least if you don’t commit a camo fashion faux pas by wearing orange.

Categories: Fashion, Wild Things | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

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