You Might Be an Optimist If . . .

Optimistake: (noun) A serious error in judgment based on an unrealistic belief that the world has a higher regard for you than is actually the case. Contributing factors often are alcohol or other optimism-fueling substances.

Example: (This is a true story, as reported in our newspaper on September 10.) A burglar in Ohio, along with two companions, broke into a house while its occupants were at home. They stole some stuff and left. The optimistake occurred when one of the thieves went back to the house two hours later to ask one of the women who lived there for a date.

Not apparently being the forgiving type, she not only declined, but had someone call 911. The cops arrested the romantic robber in front of the house. Given his optimistic view of life, no doubt he will expect to be released on parole when he explains to the judge that he did it all for love.

There's got to be a plot for a romance novel in here somewhere, or at least a song.

"All I stole was her plasma TV, but she got away with my heart."

"Say you love me, baby, and I'll bring back the cash I stole."

"It was only a simple felony until I fell for you."

It's hard to be a romantic in this cold, cruel world.

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Categories: Food and Drink | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “You Might Be an Optimist If . . .

  1. Frank

    You are funny! How about a song like, ” Please release me, let me go. I did if for love, not for dough”

  2. Kathleen

    “Please release me” is great! There are even more possibilities here than I thought.

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