Have you heard the one about the midgets, the professional wrestler, and the kangaroo?
No, it isn't an off-color and politically incorrect joke. It's a love story. Well, a wedding story, at least, from this year's Sturgis Rally. The description of the ceremony made the August 9 Rapid City Journal—in the "nation and world" section rather than "life and style."
The wrestler, here for the Rally in a professional capacity, was the bride. The midgets, both guys who are part of her team of performers, were wedding attendants. (I know, I know, the preferred term is "little people," but the bride called them midgets.) Jack, the kangaroo, escorted the bride down the improvised aisle at the Buffalo Chip campground.
Oh, there was a groom, too. Being neither midget nor marsupial, he rated only a brief mention toward the end of the article.
The bride wore a white leather bikini top trimmed tastefully with fringe. The matching bikini bottom and sheer white overskirt fit just low enough to accent the tattoo across her abdomen. Jack, despite having no visible tattoos, was dapper in his own fur coat and a black leather vest. The rest of the wedding party presumably wore Harley black.
Jack lives at the Roo Ranch near Deadwood, though, as you might expect, he isn't a South Dakota native. He's from Texas. I'm not sure why the Black Hills has a tourist attraction featuring kangaroos and other critters from Down Under instead of native species like the buffalo or the jackalope. Maybe the local tourism market has more of those than it knows what to do with. Or maybe eventually we'll see a new hybrid—the jackaroo, perhaps, or the roo-alope or the buffaroo.
At any rate, Jack, an experienced advertising model, performed his role as the bride's escort with all the dignity appropriate to such a solemn occasion. A good thing, too. Given the bride's profession, she probably would have been able to ensure his cooperation if necessary with a choke hold or a full body slam. She chose a softer method of persuasion, however, coaxing him up to the altar with a handful of his favorite treats. It's amazing the things a guy will do just to get a couple of breath mints.
Each of the bride's previous wedding ceremonies had been, she said, "very traditional. I thought, 'That's not working for me.'"
Apparently not. This was her sixth wedding.
Maybe, this time, everyone involved will live hoppily ever after.