Drop the Corn and Back Away Slowly

Raccoons have invaded Safeway. It's the only logical explanation.

If you're raising sweet corn, raccoons are not your friends. It wouldn't be so bad if they just helped themselves to a few ears for dinner now and then, but they destroy far more than they eat. A couple of them can ruin whole rows of almost ripe corn in just a few nights.

Like people, raccoons want their corn on the cob to be just right. They'll go along a row, pulling down ear after ear of corn with their clever little hands and stripping the husks from the top to see whether the corn is ripe. It if isn't perfect, they go on to the next one, leaving the rejected ear to dry out and die.

Apparently, also like people, raccoons have discovered that it can be more convenient to buy sweet corn at the store than to pick it yourself. The bin of corn at Safeway has their handprints all over it. Sometimes half the ears have a wide strip of husk peeled down from the top. Rejected as not quite perfect, the ears have been tossed back into the bin. They lie there, drying out and becoming increasing unappealing to subsequent shoppers, until eventually the produce manager decides it's time to throw them out.

Surely people wouldn't do this. Not responsible, local-produce-buying, reusable-bag-carrying grocery shoppers. They surely would know that a solid, even ear without obvious signs of bugs will probably be perfectly good. Or they would have figured out that you can check an ear of corn for ripeness without ruining it; you just make a small slit with your fingernail in one side of the husk to peek at the kernels. Above all, people would certainly realize that wasting so much corn means the store has to charge more for it.

Nope, all those annoying corn vandals have to be raccoons. Admittedly, I've never actually seen a raccoon pushing a shopping cart through the produce section at Safeway. But then, I wouldn't necessarily recognize one if I did see it. After all, it would have been wearing a mask.

Categories: Just For Fun | Leave a comment

Post navigation

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: