“Got Milk in That Silk?”

Milk silk. It's an idea, according to NPR, whose time has come.

A report that aired October 7, 2011, on "Morning Edition" featured the upcoming line of clothing from a German designer. The silk-like fabric is made from the protein casein in cow's milk. Apparently, people have been experimenting with milk fabrics since the 1930's—who knew?—but this may be the first time anyone is trying to sell clothes made from it. The process is supposedly chemical-free, and it takes less than two gallons of milk to make a dress.

I don't know whether milk silk garments will ever join nylon, rayon, and polyester as common fare on the racks at Sears or Wal-Mart. It's not likely to happen unless maintaining a dairy full of cows is more cost-effective than raising silk worms. But I do hope this new fabric catches on, if only for the marketing possibilities.

By way of example, here are just a few possible products that Milk Made Clothiers might include in its Udder Undies line:

The Cow Slips, featuring embroidered flowers in delicate shades of primrose.

The Jersey jersey lightweight sports bras.

The Cal-See-Um novelty sheer teddies.

The Cud-dler line of warm winter undergarments.

The Open Range line of men's boxer shorts.

The Milk Shake bras, designed especially for fuller figures.

The Bum Steer line of panties for the British market.

The Bossy bras—firm support for the executive woman on her way up.

The Moo-La-La combo, our sheerest teddy with matching Latte Lace thong.

The Cow Patty panties—just a touch of Spandex to give you those tempting, touchable curves.

The Dairy-Air bikini panties—so light and comfortable you'll forget you have them on.

And these are only a few of the possibilities. I'm sure a really good marketing expert could milk this idea for all it was worth.

Categories: Words for Nerds | Tags: , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on ““Got Milk in That Silk?”

  1. Frank

    tsk, tsk. Or does any one use that to express their disbelief or approbrium?

  2. Ginny

    I hope that idea doesn’t go sour . Ginny

  3. Kathleen

    Sour–I wish I had thought of that! I suppose that means you could only wear the clothes for a week or so past their sell-by date.

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